Frequently Asked Questions: Ava's Transition
Created :October 17, 2009 7:05 AMUpdated: October 24, 2009 11:15 PM
I’ve
compiled a list of the most commonly asked questions about my
transition from male to female. Start your research here! More
questions and answers will be added to this page as I hear back from
fans and friends. If you don’t find the information you need, email me or go to the Professional Facebook page.. Ava
Nieves has a policy when it comes to adding a friend request on
Facebook and/or MySpace. You probably did one of the
following:
What is
the gender change process that you're undergoing?
The
transition officially began around Noon December 1, 2004 when the legal
name change was filed and became official February 3, 2005.
These
individuals will be affected by the transition. According
to previous research, at least 2,000 individuals know yours truly
exculsively and 577 knew the late Margaret and Albert Zinn. Overall,
nearly 2,400 individuals are at risk of not accepting yours
truly
as Ava, if they do not make the adjustments. Maybe,
but nine times out of ten. You must be able to adress Ava unsing female
pronouns. This
can be done many ways; the most common are adressing "Ava", "Ma'am,"
"Ms. Zinn," "Ms. Nieves," or "Aeverine" (pronounced
ay-vur-inn). If you knew
Ava before December 1, 2004,
you can adress yours truly as above. I simply ask you do not address
yours truly as "Frank", "Franky," "Mr. Zinn," "Sir," "Mr. Angela
Willis", etc. As of January 4, 2005 that is considered
disrepectful, even though you were used to the former pronouns for many
years. No.
I know most of you are VERY TEMPTED. If you do adress yours
truly
as Frank, I will not respond at all. There is another Mississinewa High
School Alumni from the Class of2001 in which I always said "Which one?"
(referring to Frank Wilkins and myself). Note:
Help for those affected is available for those who
need help
adjusting to my transition. For more information on Ava's
Transition, visit Andrea
James' TSRoadMap, the TS
FAQ web site, watch Dirty
Sexy Money
(available on DVD featuring fellow M2F Candis Cayne), "Google" Alexis
Arquette, or call your local relationship counselor and set up an
appointment. (For example, if you live in Grant County, call
Cornerstone at 1-765-662-3971 and tell 'em "I have some
trouble
adjusting to Ava Nieves' Transition." ) This
is a great question. There are a lot of factors to be considered when
speaking to a therapist about my transition, including: What
is your reaction to Ava's transition? Are you shocked, appalled, or
just don't like the change? Do you have a hard time adjusting?
You're probably a transphobic. Be
careful – there is a lot of poor information out there. For this type
of resolution, pick a therapist with professionally trained staff. The
most important option is to, above all, be supportive. You and
I want to be allies. Then, to the extent you are
able, offer
them the support they've asked for. If you haven't done so already and
now is the time, adopt the use of the person's new name (in my
case Ava) and appropriate (feminine) gender pronouns. I understand that
this change can be uncomfortable at first, and you may slip up once in
a while, but eventually this change becomes habitual and comfortable.
This is just a small but very important step. You can
also try to maintain your existing (or previous) relationship
with
Ava whether you have known her as Frank (or know her now as Ava),
whether you went to school with Ava or knew Ava from other means.
Gender transition is new territory for many people, and can be
scary. "Hanging in" with the person in transition despite feelings of
discomfort with the process can be a very supportive act. androgyne: a person who live
without appearing or behaving particuarly male or female. androgynous: having
the characteristics of both male and female. anti-androgens: also called
androgen blockers, these drugs block the effects of testosterone in
transwomen. bioguy also bio-guy,
a non-trans man. Some do not consider this a preferred term, because it
implies a trans person has no biological basis for identifying as male. CD: crossdresser. chicks with dicks: another
term from pornography used to describe transwomen. Considered highly
offensive. cisgendered [rare]:
an obscure term for non-trans people, meaning that someone's body and
gender identity match. endo: short for endocrinologist endocrinologist: a doctor who
specializes in the endocrine system, which produces and regulates
hormones. Feminine: Characteristics of
behaviors associated with females in a culture. Feminization: Adapting mannerisms
or a phenotpe deemed feminine in a culture. FFS: facial feminization surgery. FT: full-time, living full time
in one's chosen gender. FTM: female-to-male. gaff: a
device used to secure tucked male genitalia in place to make the area
appear female. GD:
Gender Dysphoria. A form of intense emotional distress where someone is
unhappy with living in the role of their assigned gender. It is
currently classified as a symptom of "gender identity disorder." Gender
dysphoria itself used to be a medical diagnosis but was replaced by GID. Gender: social phenomena
associated with masculinity, femininity. Gender role: The behaviors,
traits, thoughts, and dress expected by a culture of members of a
particular sex. GG:
genetic girl, sometimes used as a term to describe non-trans women (as
opposed to TG). Sometimes considered derogatory by women who were
raised as girls from birth onwards and by some transwomen who feel that
chromosomes are not the defining characteristic for womanhood. GID:
Gender identity disorder. A diagnosis of a mental disorder sometimes
given to transwomen. Not everyone agrees that transwomen are mentally
disordered. GLBT: Gay, lesbian, bisexual,
transgender. An overarching term for anyone outside gender norms. GW: genetic woman, sometimes used
as a term to describe non-transsexual women. gynephilic: attracted to women,
the opposite of androphilic HB-SoC: Harry Benjamin Standards
of Care, a consensus of mental health professionals the appropriate way
to treat transsexuals. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT):
A term originated to describe hormone supplements taken by people with
below normal hormone levels, sometimes applied to trans people. LBGT: Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay,
transgender. An overarching term for anyone outside gender norms ma'am (verb):
To be referred to as female, usually when you want to be: "I got
ma'amed at the store today." M2F: male-to-female MF: male-to-female M-F: male-to-female my T: my trans identity, also my
history, my
legend, my
situation, my
deal, my function: "I
don't tell anybody my T." name change: legal
documents documenting a court-ordered name change. natal woman: a term used by some to exclude
transsexuals from the definition of femininity. See also woman-born
woman NGLTF [noun]:
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, an activist organization for GLBT
advocacy, known for its 1997 inclusion of transgender people into its
mission statement. non-op (non-operative):
someone who lives as female but does not plan to have vaginoplasty. non-TS: a person who are not
transsexual. . NTAC: National Transgender Advocacy
Coalition, an American national lobby group for transgender people. pass: To be accepted without
question in your chosen gender. The term has a problematic history and
connotation, as discussed here. passing privilege: the belief that those
who "pass" enjoy greater acceptance in society. PFLAG: Parents and Friends of
Lesbians and Gays, and advocacy group that also works on behalf of
trans people. post-op (post-operative): had vaginoplasty.
Sometimes used as an objectifying adjective by transfans:
"Post-ops don't interest me at all." pre-op (pre-operative): haven't
had vaginoplasty,
but plans to. Sometimes used as an objectifying adjective by transfans:
"I only like pre-ops." Many people feel that categorizing by surgical
status places too much emphasis on a procedure that can be difficult to
obtain for many transpeople. Primary Sex Characteristics:
reproductive organs, genitalia. read (verb):
1. to be recognized as transgender, esp. by a non-trans person. 2. to
insult someone, as in, "I had to read her after she was acting shady." real girl: a very loaded term
used to describe non-transsexual women. Considered highly offensive. RLE:
Real-life experience. The period of time living full-time required for
vaginoplasty, designed to ensure you can function in society. RLT: Real-life test. The period
of time living full-time required for vaginoplasty, designed to ensure
you can function in society. Secondary Sex Characteristics:
Traits linked to bioloigcal sex though not directly invovled in
procreation (e.g., breasts, facial hair) Sex: biological aspects of being
male or female: chromosones, genitalia, hormones (primary and secondary
sex characterics). sir (verb):
To be referred to as male, usually when you don't want to be: "I got
sirred at the store today." SO: significant other, a partner SOC: Standards of Care, a
guideline for treating transsexuals put out by HBIGDA. SRS: sex reassignment surgery: a
term for vaginoplasty. T*: an overall abbreviation for
transgender T [noun]:
any testosterone regimen. T-Friendly: a group or person
which accepts transgender people. T-Girl: a transgender female.
There are mixed feelings regarding the use of this term. T-Guy:
a transgender male. There are mixed feelings regarding the use
of this term. TG: transgender tranny: a term used by some TG
women to describe other TG women. Often considered offensive if used by
a non-TG trans-: a
prefix related to transgender, i.e. a trans-friendly business trans (noun):
transgender: "She's a trans." Sometimes considered offensive. transfan: someone who is
attracted to transgender people. transfolk: also trans
folk, a gender-neutral term for trans people
collectively, regardless of gender. transgender:
An umbrella term used to describe anyone whose gender identity or
expression situates them differently than the traditional gender role
they were assigned at birth. Some of the countless categories lumped
together under this term include crossdressing, drag, transgenderism,
transsexualism, androgyny, and many shadings between these larger
groupings. transgender(ed): [adjective] Should be to
describe someone, not to label them as an object -- as a noun.
(incorrect usage: "I saw three transgenders walking out of Nordstrom
yesterday." Correct usage: "I saw three transgender people walking out
of Nordstrom yesterday.") Transgenderist: A person who
lives as their target gender without wishing to change their target sex. transie:
a term used by some transgender women to describe other transgender
women. Often considered offensive if used by a non-transgender person. transition: the process of
changing sex. Also used as a verb: "I transitioned when I was 29." transman: also trans
man, a trans person who identifies as male. transparency [noun]:
[not congruent with "passing"] [ed.
note: this is a concept proposed by a reader and not a term I've heard
used] The
state by which a gender-different person possesses passing privilege,
but doesn't try to cover the fact that they are gender-different (i.e.,
not creating false stories about childhood, or subscribing to the
"ex-transsexual" ideology), or doesn't exploit their passing privilege
to try to fit into a certain social expectation of "women" or "men".
Where "passing" infers an effort of "suppressing oneself","acting" or
"trying" to be a certain presentation, "having transparency" is simply
a state of being oneself and letting any nuance of one's personality
come through, regardless whether those personality traits are regarded
by some as "feminine" or "masculine". "Transparent" [adjective] transphile or transophile:
someone attracted to transgender women. transphilia: attraction to
transgender people. transphobia: the fear and hatred
of transgender people. transexual: variant spelling of
transsexual. transsexual: someone who wishes
to take all the steps necessary to be accepted as completely as
possible in their chosen gender. transwoman: also trans
woman, a trans person who identifies as female. TS: transsexual unclockable: Describes
someone who is accepted without question or suspicion in her chosen
gender. WPATH: In 2006, HBIGDA began
implementing a name change to World Professional Association for
Transgender Health.
Sources: Wikipedia, TS Roadmap, Aeverine Nieves
Other
common questions:
Why
are you undergoing the change from a man to a woman?
When
did the transition happen?
Who’s
affected by Ava's Transition?
I
am (or was) colleagues with Ava. When I see her somewhere, I see a
woman, right?
Will
I still call Ava as Frank?
What
should I keep in mind when I speak to my therapist in regards to Ava's
Transition?
What
should I do in the event I still remember Ava as Frank?
Glossary
There
were complicated social issues, legal issues and also dealing
with
mythical issues that are very complex and in 2004, eight years after
breaking a classroom window in middle school. Later that year, after
almost 22 years, finally took major steps to begin living
and enroll
that yours truly more countable in what would eventually
after a lot
of research,
finding support for yours truly then a lot of people will begin the
essential process where they start going out as there new gender (now a
woman named Ava) or
expiring that then a lot of people will begin miracle inventions in a
earful hormones all the way out to surgery and a lot of people
somewhere in that process undergo to legal steps such as simply legally
changing their name (from Frank to Ava) your social security
documentation and people can
switch up that order some people do only some of those steps but
biological sex is an overview of the most of the steps.
The
best way to describe the gender change quality difference
between
the 22 years as Frank and the five years as Ava is
that of
clip-on earrings compared to pierced earrings.
In my case, the
gender change also can offer multipule styles called
multistyling. Usually women have breasts, a figure, wear feminine
attire. (For example, in my case, I have breasts, have a
figure,
wear jewlery, feminine attire, and have longer hair.)
There is
also a unique aspect to the gender switchover of yours truly. The
conversion will (and/or has already) proven to be a sucess socially,
psychologically, and academically, which has surprised some people.
There are a number of answers that might answer this :
In November
2003, I came out and diagnosed as a transsexual (or Gender Identity
Disorder) after no longer being able to deal with
the above
weaknesses.
After I was diagnosed with Gender Identity
Disorder and came out as transgendered, I thought noone would accept me
as a woman at all.
In a coming out note released on this web site shortly after my 21st
birthday in January 2004:
.After
11 years of consideration, I have made my decision to undergo a sex
change from male to female and honor my true identity.
The decision was
not easy, but grateful for the support and respect that I have already
received by my loved ones. It is my hope that my choice to
transition
will open the hearts and minds of Hoosiers regarding this issue, just
as my ‘coming out’ did.
In
the case of Franky Zinn (now known as Aeverine Nieves), who
has become something
of an Eastbrook and Mississinewa Community Schools icon,
derives enormous pleasure from being
a man. But
such is not the case with Franky Zinn. And thus, in an effort to
achieve peace of mind, she has decided to become a woman. Indeed, it
appears as though Franky Zinn is no longer willing to tolerate being
a woman trapped inside a man's body.
Have
the answers to these questions and seek out a therapist that can match
your needs with the right solution and help you adjust to this.
If that doesn't work or you believe yours truly has changed in not the
way you wanted.. You have two options.
If that doesn't work, you'll have to confront your fear of
transphobia and homophobia.
Also, you
may ask how you can help in letting others know about Ava's
transition. The best way is to tell people themselves, or they
may
be grateful for help "spreading the word." There may be certain
contexts--the workplace (at Carey Services and NO SIR GIFTS), on
Facebook via the Mississinewa High School Alumni page--where your
assistance in telling others and expressing your support will be
appreciated.
If
confronting your fear doesn't work, call your local psychologist and
set up an appointment. ( if you live in Grant County, call Cornerstone
at
1-765-662-3971 and tell 'em "I have some trouble adjusting to
Ava
Nieves' Transition." The staff there probably knows Ava is talking
about)
The last resort is losing an existing relationship or acquaintence
becuase of this.
HBIGDA:
Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, an
professional organization involved in gender variance. In 2006, they
implemented a name change to WPATH (World Professional Association for
Transgender Health).